There is no formula for a perfect relationship, but there are some patterns for happy partnerships. This list will help you understand what you are doing wrong.
1. Not complaining about relationships with family and friends.
Sometimes there are problems in a relationship, but that is no reason to talk about your lovers with outsiders. If you involve other people in your private life, you run the risk of losing your partner’s trust. Is something bothering you? Discuss it with them. Nothing brings people together like overcoming difficulties together.
2. Not to compare oneself with others
People who are happy in a relationship accept themselves as they are. Comparing oneself or one’s partner with another person is a pointless exercise, because the conclusions are always disconnected from reality. Moreover, a feeling of insecurity about oneself and one’s relationship is guaranteed.
3. Do not blame your partner for your problems.
Always remember that you alone are responsible for your feelings and actions. There is no reason to blame the person you love for all your problems and then sink into self-pity. If you don’t see a way out of a difficult situation, ask for help instead of causing a senseless scandal.
4. Not taking yourself too seriously
Life is full of ups and downs. And failures should not be viewed as tragedies. Learn to enjoy life. Even when things are difficult, you should see the positive. Spend more time together and learn to laugh at yourself.
5. Do not criticize.
Believe me, no person on this planet likes to be nailed. Criticizing your partner will only create a rift in the relationship that can eventually destroy it altogether. So try to find less hurtful ways to deal with annoying habits.
6. Do not ignore the financial side of the relationship.
Money problems can ruin even the strongest relationships, so take care of any issues that arise as soon as possible. Discuss your financial goals and make spending decisions together. If you feel that financial issues are too sensitive to discuss openly, think of the headaches there could be later if things aren’t resolved now.
7. Don’t try to read your partner’s mind.
In many relationships – especially long-term ones – you think you always know what your partner needs. The truth is that no one can know this better than they do. The key to a happy relationship is communication. The more you trust each other, the better you understand your partner’s needs. However, this does not mean that you have the right to make all decisions for him.
8. Not to start a conversation at the wrong time.
Let’s imagine the situation: You want to share your feelings and concerns. The wrong time to do this is when your partner is busy doing something else or wants to do something else. If you come up with your problems at that time, there is a good chance that your partner will not understand the importance of the conversation. And you’ll be left with an awkward backlog. To make sure you start a conversation at the right time, simply ask, “I need to talk to you, is this a good time?”
9. Don’t get bogged down in your role in the relationship.
Each partner has multiple roles in a relationship. For example, based on gender stereotypes: The woman cooks, the man does other household chores. Happy couples don’t dwell on this division and are always willing to take on tasks outside their roles when needed. Example: In your relationship, the woman cooks, but she has to work late today. The man doesn’t have to wait for her to come back and set the table, he can cook for himself and for her.
10. Don’t be negative.
Don’t push your partner: he doesn’t always have to do what you ask him to do. Be supportive. Motivate him to make it easier for him to achieve big goals. Whining and negativity will not make your couple better.
11. Don’t take advice from romance movies.
And definitely don’t compare your life to what happens on screen. No doubt Hollywood couples look great, but happy relationships don’t look like glossy photos. They are fictionalized images of relationships that have no equivalent in real life. Happy couples don’t build their lives on such misconceptions.
12. Take your time
Never elevate a relationship to the next level too quickly. Everyone wants to get to the happy ending of the fairy tale quickly, but believe me, the journey itself is much more interesting. Going to the registry office after a week of dating is certainly romantic, but in most cases such a rush does not lead to a happy ending.
13. Do not expect a relationship to solve all problems at once.
Of course, a happy relationship brings joy to your life, but don’t expect it to automatically solve all your problems. No one else can change your life for the better in an instant. You have to do it all yourself. Solve problems and don’t bring them into your relationship.
14. Don’t expect being a couple to be easy.
Long-term relationships are great, but for very few people they are easy. Look at problems as opportunities to deepen and strengthen your relationship as a couple. It takes effort to be together.
15. No doubts
You won’t lose anything if you really love the other person. But you can lose a lot if you hold back and don’t invest 100% in the relationship. To feel more comfortable around the other person, you need to learn to trust without saying too much and not being afraid that they might hurt you. A happy relationship is when you fully trust your partner and they trust you.
16. Not keeping secrets from your partner
Secrecy is another common reason for breakups. Trust is a delicate and fragile thing that is lost very easily. So don’t keep secrets from your partner. An understatement is the same as a lie. And lies are of no use to you.
17. Do not be afraid to admit who they are
There is nothing more beautiful than being loved for who you are. There is no room in a relationship for the desire to change the other person. If you are not accepted for who you are, you will not be happy.
18. Do not live in the past.
Wake up, the past is gone and nothing can be changed. Yes, your partner also has a past, and even if you don’t like it, there is nothing you can do about it. Accept this fact and move on. Look to the future together and don’t think about what came before you.
19. Don’t dwell on your partner’s shortcomings.
Everyone has them, but it is not necessary to remind the other person of their existence every five minutes. Think of his positive qualities, and all shortcomings will seem insignificant. If you look only for the good in people, you will find the good in yourself.
20. Do not expect anything in return
To maintain a happy relationship, you must be able to give without asking for anything in return. Do something special for your partner to make them happy. If you make an effort to give more than you take, you will feel happier yourself.
